What It's Like To Be A Gay Woman In A Conservative Asian Country

being a lesbian in an asian country, LGBTQ in conservative asian countries, being gay in asia, life as a gay woman in asia, life as a gay woman in a conservative country

Being gay isn’t easy. It becomes even more difficult when you live in a conservative country. I was born and raised in Manila but studied high school and some college in the United States. Since moving back to my homeland, I had to get used to being a social anomaly in a traditional South East Asian society.


1. I’m Tolerated but Not Accepted

Tolerance and acceptance are not the same. There’s a huge difference between them. Despite living in one of the most gay-friendly countries in the world, there is no such thing as complete acceptance. I’d argue that “Gay-friendly” is a huge misnomer. This supposed friendship is superficial. Philippine society tolerates gay people who live by established stereotypes (we’ll talk more about stereotypes a little later). If you don’t fit into these stereotypes, you’ll either be forced into it or be told to just stay in the closet.

2. I’m Expected to Conform to a Certain Acceptable Stereotype

I’ve been told many times by both straight and gay people I’m not gay because I don’t look gay. Umm…what exactly does a gay woman look like, anyway? Filipinos expect lesbians to be butch, pudgy, like sports (particularly basketball), probably works as a security guard, and enjoy drinking San Miguel Pale Pilsen beer. Just to make it clear- I love my butch lezzie sisters. There’s nothing wrong with being big-boned and having a masculine appearance, but this aesthetic does not represent all lesbians.
Yes, I know I don’t fit the stereotype of what a typical Filipino lesbian should look like. I’m a femme. I’m a hard femme, which is already a difficult concept for most Westerners to grasp, let alone uber-religious conservative Philippine society. My odd blend of both feminine and masculine qualities leaves most people scratching their heads. There have been many times I’ve been asked absurd questions that a lesbian with clearly defined gender roles will never have to deal with. “If you’re really a lesbian, why are you wearing makeup? Lesbians don’t wear makeup!” “But you don’t look like (insert name of butch lesbian celebrity here)?” “No! You can’t be a lesbian?! You’re slim, fair, and pretty. Lesbians are fugly.” Unfortunately, the last comment is the most common reaction I get from men.

3. The Amount of Religious Bigotry is Suffocating

The Philippines is still a largely conservative Catholic country. Anything that taints Christian values is considered unnatural, sinful, and in more extreme cases, called satanic. I went to a prestigious Catholic girls’ school for ten years, where I learned that I must suppress my homosexual tendencies, lest be punished by the Lord. By the time I turned ten years old, I was convinced God hated me because I had a huge crush on my classmate. I still hear the bigotry all the time. “Homosexuality is a sin!” “You’re a freak of nature!” “Sodom and Gomorrah. Remember, Sodom and Gomorrah!” I hate self-righteous religious moralist. They find what they want in the scriptures and use it to justify their toxic hatred. People who use the Bible to offend, belittle, name-call, attack, suppress, and malign others are just as bad as the people they accuse wickedness of.

4. Two Women Can Hold Hands in Public. Gay Men Can’t

Oddly enough, it’s socially acceptable for two women to hold hands and even hug romantically in public. I’m fortunate to hold my date’s hand whenever we go out, but my gay male friend doesn’t have the same privilege. Gay men will draw so much flak for doing anything seemingly “sweet”. Proof: I once saw two gay men happily holding hands while strolling in a mall. I saw my father, a quasi-liberal man, grimace. If they were women, I doubt he’d have the same reaction.

More proof: Years ago, a billboard ad for a popular local clothing company featured two men holding hands. The ad is a picture of a real-life celebrity couple, Vince Uy and Ninno Gaddi. They weren’t even kissing in the picture, but the hands were mysteriously painted over (more accurately, vandalized) with black paint. To top it all off, rants from self-righteous religious homophobes flooded Facebook.

5. I Have No Legal Protection Against Discrimination

There’s no law that protects LGBTQs from hostility and discrimination. I can be denied of services, accommodation, and enrollment by establishments, and they’d cite their internal policy or religious freedom for doing so. Because I look femme, I don’t experience much discrimination compared to more masculine-representing queer women. However, I have experienced being denied service in barber shops because I’m a woman despite me having shorter hair than some men in thereTraditionally male-dominated businesses such as barber shops and car auto repair shops rejecting or overcharging services to women and LGBTQs is a huge problem all over the world.

Many countries have laws that protect marginalized people from discrimination, so why can’t we? An Anti-Discrimination Bill still lays dormant in the halls of a largely homophobic Senate. When I’m in London, a barber shop runs the risk of breaking the Equality Act law if they discriminate against me on the grounds of my gender. Here in Manila, I’m told to “Shut up and deal with it!”

6. Many LGBTQs Stay in the Closet

In a country where homophobes abound, coming out can be a traumatic experience. Many LGBTQ people stay in the closet for fear of both social and professional ostracization. When you come out, family and friends will treat differently you. You get misunderstood. You could lose friends. Your co-workers might question your job competence (this is more of an issue for gay men). Worse, you could get fired from your job.


7. Dating and Maintaining a Healthy Relationship Is a Struggle

This homophobic culture makes dating and relationships difficult. Do you know how hard it is to date someone who’s still in the closet? It’s a nightmare! Every date is riddled with fear and anxiety. She’d be too scared to go to popular restaurants for fear of being seen. She’ll insist on going to places she knows none of her friends would be. Ad infinitum. Dating someone in the closet is bound to fail. Dating NearQueers is the most frustrating of all. They’re stuck in denial and pass themselves off as being bisexual, bi-curious, or even “straight with a pinch of bi”.

Heteroflexibility can be a turnoff when a person solely uses the label to distance themselves from the stigma associated with LGBTQs.  I know a lot of gay women who refuse to call themselves lesbian despite being in a lesbian relationship for years. I’ve met queer women who reluctantly married men just to make their families happy. These same queer women will eventually take on female lovers or mistresses within a few months after the marriage. I know a handful of gays in lavender marriages or in long-term lavender relationships.

8. Most People are Ignorant of Gender Issues and they Refuse to Learn

I won’t sugarcoat it- Filipinos don’t give a damn about gender issues. The term LGBTQ is unfamiliar to most people and they refuse to learn about it. Why should they? There are more important issues to deal with like poverty, malnutrition, and widespread corruption, right? Wrong! We need to talk about gender issues. Many people don’t realize that local gender issues contribute to a country’s socio-political landscape. By discussing topics like how gender roles affect people negatively and the economic disadvantages of gender minorities such as women and members of the LGBTQ community, we can create solutions to help solve not only gender inequality but also economic inequality.

9. We Probably Have the Most Heterosexist Law in the World

The Philippine Constitution has this extremely infuriating portion in our civil code: The Family Code of the PhilippinesThe Family Code starts off by stating… “Marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life.” -Executive Order No. 209, The Family Code of the Philippines (6 July 1987), Article 1

It even has a section detailing the legal obligations between husband and wife: “The husband and wife are obliged to live together, observe mutual love, respect, and fidelity, and render mutual help and support.”
-Executive Order No. 209, The Family Code of the Philippines (6 July 1987), Article 68

The Family Code has been a source of plight and frustration for millions of unhappy Filipino couples since the law makes divorce unconstitutional. The Philippines is among the only two countries in the world where divorce is illegal. It’s also the reason legalizing gay marriage is almost impossible here. Even the possibility of legal partnerships seems like a stretch. We’d need to have a major referendum to re-haul our Constitution if divorce, gay marriage, and civil partnership is to be made legal.


10. My Family Doesn’t Support Gay Marriage but Says They Want Me to Be Happy

I’ve had a long heated discussion with my parents months ago about gay marriage. Things didn’t end well, and I stormed out of the room fuming. What I couldn’t understand was their half-hearted support for me, their only child! Despite having a gay daughter, my parents are devout Catholics who are staunch anti-gay marriage supporters. I shouldn’t be surprised. Many families who accept their gay children do so unenthusiastically. The infamous “Love the sinner, hate the sin” banner is the churches go-to advice to parents of gay kids. It may be comforting to hear that they love us gay folk, but the truth is people spite anything remotely homosexual. 
I’m a realist. With the way things are, I know gay marriage will never be legalized here. Same-sex marriage is still taboo. I know it’s stupid, but I still dream of finding my princess charming and marrying her one day. My parents may take pleasure in knowing I could never marry the woman I love but I’ll be f**cking miserable. If my family genuinely wants me to be happy, they’d be open to the idea that love can exist between two women or two men.

Written by Catherine Tabuena

17 comments

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  4. Real Spell Caster Reviews To Save Your Marriage and Get Your Ex lover Back! Dr.Unity has helped thousands of women get their Ex lover back" I'm Natasha Wanderly form USA. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he could come back to me, I was really worried and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 11hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity is real spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your ex lover back or save your marriage fast. Do not cry anymore, contact Dr.Unity now. Here’s his contact,Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com or Call/WhatsApp him +2348055361568 , website:https://unityspelltemples.blogspot.com ,your kindness will never be forgotten.

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  5. I am Mrs. Dora Pless from USA, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband, and i love him so much we have been married for 4 years now with three kids. when he went for a vacation to Singapore he meant a lady called STEPHANIE, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don't know what to do until I met my friend miss joy and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Dr. Ugo Wonders who is man of God for her ex and bring him back to her after 2days. Miss Stephanie ask me to contact Dr. Ugo Wonders I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the God of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by two days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After two day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great MAN OF God did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr. Ugo Wonders on any problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his EMAIL contact: generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call him on  +1 386-336-9876WEBSITE: https://generalspellsolution.webs.com

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  6. I am Mrs. Dora Pless from USA, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband, and i love him so much we have been married for 4 years now with three kids. when he went for a vacation to Singapore he meant a lady called STEPHANIE, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don't know what to do until I met my friend miss joy and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Dr. Ugo Wonders who is man of God for her ex and bring him back to her after 2days. Miss Stephanie ask me to contact Dr. Ugo Wonders I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the God of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by two days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After two day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great MAN OF God did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr. Ugo Wonders on any problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his EMAIL contact: generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call him on  +1 386-336-9876WEBSITE: https://generalspellsolution.webs.com

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  7. WOW!! This is the most wonderful thing i have ever experience in my life, My name is Terri Pamela, I never thought I will smile again,after my husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed and i was desperate to bring him back home I thought I'm not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Miller on Facebook who told me about a spell caster called Dr.Osauyi, She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacted him and he assured me that within 48hours my husband will come back to me, i feel happy already when i had that from him, In less than 48hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle, because it just too real to be real I know so many lady are at there with the same problem of my but i tell you today that there is a solution for it Email Dr Osauyi on

    Osauylovespell@yahoo.com
    WhatsApp +905385050893

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  8. URGENT AND EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL CASTER TO HELP YOU GET BACK YOUR EX LOVER VERY FAST WHATSAPP +2348124644470

    My Name is Isabella Mia    from Ireland , I want to say thank you to PRIEST WISDOM for the good thing he has done for me,Though am not sure if this is the best forum to show my joy and happiness for what he has done for me but i cant hide happiness and my Joy so i have to share it with people, my marriage got crashed about two years ago and i tried all i could within my power but to no avail. i saw post and testimonial about the good things PRIEST WISDOM has been doing so i decided to give it a try. though he is always a busy man but when he responded back to my email, he gave me 48hours for my marriage to be restored really just like he said my marriage was restored since then I am happy and i am living happily i am so grateful, PRIEST WISDOM you can always email him here: Supernaturalspell1@gmail.com or WHATSAPP / cell phone +2348124644470  or view his blog     https://supernaturalspell21.blogspot.com/  

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  9. URGENT AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY WINNING DR OJOKA
    am from canada, would want to tell you all that i was able to put an end to my divorce issue and restore my marriage again, because i never wanted it to happen. i don’t know what came over my husband that he was filling for divorce, i etried to talk him out of it when he told me and he didn’t listen to me, i had no other option than to seek for the help of a spell caster and now am glad i did. Because if not for the help of spell, i don’t know what would have become of me by now because i loved my husband so much that i couldn’t stand loosing him. The spell worked like magic with the way and manner my husband change and started showing love instead of the divorce he was planning. i just too happy that everything is in place for me now. I would gladly recommend the use of spell to any one going through marriage problems and want to put an end to it. [DROJOKASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL .COM OR WHATS APP HIM +2348144172934 was were i got the help to restore my marriage]

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