11 Questions To Ask Your Partner Before You Get Married

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My husband and I were in a long-distance relationship for almost a full year before we got married. Skype was both a blessing and a curse, offering the illusion of the one you love sitting across from you. You can see, you can hear, but you’re still too far away for a hug. It was tough, I won’t lie. There were many days when I just wanted to hold his hand or sit next to him and do nothing else at all.

Now almost two years into marriage, I can see the ways that long-distance season grew and impacted us. Specifically, it taught us how to talk to each other. There are the big things you should always discuss prior to marriage: whether you want kids and how many if so, your core values and beliefs, and the goals you have for the future. These should align or at least complement each other because you can’t have half a kid or pursue conflicting dreams. This list brings something a bit different to the table. These are questions that will help you determine each other’s character and how everyday life will occur between the two of you.


1. How important are pets to you?

Before we got married, my now-husband and I discussed whether we should get a dog. Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, to me dogs were pets that slept inside, sat on the couch with you and had costumes on for Halloween. But for my husband, who grew up in rural Missouri, animals weren’t viewed the same way. They slept outside and worked as hunting dogs or catching mice in the barns.

We decided together that having a dog would be a source of contention in our marriage because we had such different opinions about how to care for it, and since having a dog wasn’t all that important to me, we agreed that we wouldn’t. You and your potential spouse should sit down and have the same discussion because you might learn something you never considered before.

2. How were household chores decided on when you grew up?

I had a bit of a passive-aggressive phase when we first got married. Growing up, my mom cooked, and my dad cleaned the dishes afterward. So, when I cooked and my new husband didn’t immediately move to do the dishes, I became frustrated – even though I never told him I expected that of him.

A lot of expectations for marriage build on how you were raised. Chores worked a certain way when you were growing up, and you may expect them to happen in the same fashion as you step into married life. The two of you should sit down and discuss how household chores were divided when you were children. You can use those ideas as foundations for the unified method you come up with for your relationship.

3. How much money do you spend on yourself?

The things you are willing to spend money on when you’ve had a rough day or need to de-stress can say a lot about your financial health. I enjoy a great iced latte from a local coffee shop a few times a month and a bath a least once a week. These were concepts my husband, who is frugal and excellent at saving money, and I had to discuss early on in the marriage. This also serves as a starting point to discuss your financial behaviors. Is there something your future spouse spends money on that you don’t like? Are you financially compatible, or do you have a system for how big purchases should be handled? What defines a “big purchase?” These are all important discussions to have.

4. What do you want in life?

You want to know what your potential spouse is willing to sacrifice everything for. Are they on track to join the Army? Do they envision running a small business from home? Everyone has dreams and goals, and you want to ensure yours align. Compromise is something you will encounter daily in marriage, so you need to know where you are willing to draw a line. The things my husband and I want out of life are very similar, so the decisions we make have those in mind, and we often agree.

5. Where do you want to live?

“As long as you love each other, you can make anything work.” I’ve heard this said before, and I’m sure you have, too. While love is foundational, there are things you should have in common or you may come to resent each other down the line. Before we got married, my husband and I agreed that we’d like to live overseas. Traveling is a large part of our life and something we enjoy doing together, but that isn’t for everyone. Even the difference between country and city living can be too difficult for some people. Really consider the answer to this question and be honest with each other.


6. How much time do you want to spend together?

Does this one seem odd? If you’re an extrovert, maybe – but perhaps not if you are an introvert. If you need time for yourself, let your future spouse know that. This is your opportunity to set expectations and let them know whether you will need time to be by yourself, so they aren’t unexpectedly hurt a few weeks into marriage.

7. What does your relationship with your family look like?

Hopefully, at this point in your relationship, you’ve had the chance to meet each other’s families. Family is significant because they will always be there. You don’t have to be best friends with every member of your potential spouse’s family, but you do need to honestly consider what relationships with them would look like. My husband and I both have good relationships with our families, and with each other’s, so this one was quite simple for us.

8. How do you react when you’re stuck in traffic?

Nothing brings the stress out in someone like travel. My husband and I, before we got engaged, took a trip to Europe. Flight delays and unexpected twists happen all the time, no matter how well you’ve planned it out. It was on this trip that I really paid attention and saw how calm my now-husband is under stressors like that.

If you’ve taken a road trip or faced a difficult health situation together, you have likely witnessed how your potential spouse responds under stress. Understanding stressors and how to help each other through them is something you should begin now, even though it may take a while to get it down. This is also an opportunity for you to look for any red flags in the way he or she behaves when stressed. 

9. Consider the first disagreement you had. How did you handle it?

You may have had several disagreements since you first started dating, but it’s valuable to consider the first one – or at least the first one you can remember. Reflect on what happened and what you’ve done to improve how you communicate since then. This offers an opportunity for you to see how you’ve grown while establishing a chance for you to set more goals moving forward.

10. How important is your job to you? Would you be willing to leave it?

When we got married, we were both unemployed with vague ideas of what we wanted to do. Since then, we’ve been in many part-time and full-time positions. Employment changes happen, sometimes more suddenly than you may expect. Where does your current job land on the priority list? Would you be willing to relocate for it? Would your potential spouse be willing to do that for you? These may all be very hypothetical now, but they should be answered as honestly as possible.

11. Is there anything you’re hoping will change about me when we get married?

This might be the most difficult question to ask, but that’s why it is the most important. Marriage is not a cure-all to the quirks or qualities of your future spouse. It’s a magnifying glass. Those qualities will become even more pronounced. There are flaws each of you has because people cannot be perfect. By asking this of each other out of love, you establish the things you know you need to work on and help each other through.

Marriage is big and beautiful and one of the most life-altering decisions you can make. There are no perfect people, but there are people who are good for each other, and I hope these questions can help you and your potential spouse prepare for life together.

Written by Jillian Hedges

47 comments

  1. “You should get help!” sounds like the right thing to say. But when you’re depressed, a lot of your energy and thoughts are consumed.
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    If you can do some of the heavy lifting, like calling a therapist and making an appointment or even driving your friend there,
    it may help them on the road to recovery. Just be mindful that some friends may push back against this so it’s important to remember the next point.
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    ReplyDelete
  7. URGENT AND EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL CASTER TO HELP YOU GET BACK YOUR EX LOVER VERY FAST WHATSAPP +2348124644470

    My Name is Isabella Mia    from Ireland , I want to say thank you to PRIEST WISDOM for the good thing he has done for me,Though am not sure if this is the best forum to show my joy and happiness for what he has done for me but i cant hide happiness and my Joy so i have to share it with people, my marriage got crashed about two years ago and i tried all i could within my power but to no avail. i saw post and testimonial about the good things PRIEST WISDOM has been doing so i decided to give it a try. though he is always a busy man but when he responded back to my email, he gave me 48hours for my marriage to be restored really just like he said my marriage was restored since then I am happy and i am living happily i am so grateful, PRIEST WISDOM you can always email him here: Supernaturalspell1@gmail.com or WHATSAPP / cell phone +2348124644470  or view his blog     https://supernaturalspell21.blogspot.com/  

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  8. I am very happy today with my family. My name is rose sarah living in USA, My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.life a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email drlifetemple@gmail.com… Now i will advice any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without steress.. He always hello, now i call him my father.contact him now he is always online email (drlifetemple@gmail.com) or contact him on his whatsapp mobile line +2347010538590

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am very happy today with my family. My name is rose sarah living in USA, My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.life a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email drlifetemple@gmail.com… Now i will advice any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without steress.. He always hello, now i call him my father.contact him now he is always online email (drlifetemple@gmail.com) or contact him on his whatsapp mobile line +2347010538590

    ReplyDelete
  10. URGENT AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY WINNING DR OJOKA
    am from canada, would want to tell you all that i was able to put an end to my divorce issue and restore my marriage again, because i never wanted it to happen. i don’t know what came over my husband that he was filling for divorce, i etried to talk him out of it when he told me and he didn’t listen to me, i had no other option than to seek for the help of a spell caster and now am glad i did. Because if not for the help of spell, i don’t know what would have become of me by now because i loved my husband so much that i couldn’t stand loosing him. The spell worked like magic with the way and manner my husband change and started showing love instead of the divorce he was planning. i just too happy that everything is in place for me now. I would gladly recommend the use of spell to any one going through marriage problems and want to put an end to it. [DROJOKASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL .COM OR WHATS APP HIM +2348144172934 was were i got the help to restore my marriage]

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi Guys I'm so excited to share this testimony on how i got my ex husband back after a divorce

    I have been married for 5 years and i have a break up with my husband 3 months ago and i was worried and so confuse because i love him so much. i was really going too depressed and a friend directed me to this spell caster Dr Azuka on his email (dr.azukasolutionhome@gmail.com) and i made all my problems known to him and he told me not to worry that he was going to make my husband to come back to me and in just 24 hours i receive a call from my husband and he was appealing that i should come back to the house. I have never in my life believe in spell but now he has just helped me out to be a fulfill woman and i am now so happy. All Thanks to Dr Azuka and if you also want to have your husband back to yourself contact Dr Azuka i am so happy to testify of the good work and kindness.. or add him up on whats-app +44 7520 636249  

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  12. i will love to share my testimony to you all the people in world i got married to my husband about 2 year ago we start having problems at home like we stop sleeping on the same bed,fighting about little things he always comes home late at night,drinking too much and sleeping with other women out side i have never love any man in my life except him. he is the father of my child and i don't want to loose him because we have worked so hard together to become what we are and have today .few month ago he now decided to live me and the kid,being a single mother can be hard sometimes and so i have nobody to turn to and i was heart broken.i called my mom and explain every thing to her,my mother told me about DR.azen how he helped her solve the problem between her and my dad i was surprise about it because they have been without each other for three and a half years and it was like a miracle how they came back to each other. i was directed to DR. azen on his email:(azentemple@gmail.com and explain everything to him,so he promise me not to worry that he will cast a spell and make things come back to how we where so much in love again and that it was another female spirit that was controlling my husband he told me that my problem will be solved within two days if i believe i said OK So he cast a spell for me and after two days my love came back asking me to forgive him i Am so happy now. so that why i decided to share my experience with every body that have such problem contact Dr azen the great spell caster on his email addresses (azentemple@gmail.com)or whatsapp Dr azen on (+2349038299828

    ReplyDelete
  13. i already gave up on ever getting cured of HSV2 because i have try many treatment none of them work out for me i have go to different hospital they always tell me same thing there is no cure for herpes when i came across a post about Dr ohunyom, in the net from a lady called Angela i contacted him and he reassured me with him herbal medicine which i took according to the way he instructed, that how i was cured. I doubted at first because i have been to a whole lot of reputable doctors, tried a lot of medicines but none was able to cure me. so i decided to listen to him and he commenced treatment, and under two weeks i was totally fee from #Herpes. i want to say a very big thank you to DR ohunyom for what he has done in my life. feel free to leave him a message on email drohunyom@gmail.com and also WhatsApp him +2349060579973..
    He can still be able to help you with this herbs medicine:
    1...ALS CURE/DIABETES CURE/EPILESY/HPV CURE/LUPUS/HEPATITIS/CANCER/GOUT     

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  14. HOW DR. UNEME brought back my ex lover unemespellben@gmail.com
    Am DONNA, am from UK. After been in a relationship with my Boyfriend for 1 year now and we were planning to get married soon and all of a sudden he left me for another girl. of a truth, I really love this guy and never can I imagine life without him. I further tried all my best to get him back but all my effort to get him back in my life did not work out. It was on this faithful day, I came across some Testimonies on a website about this great spell caster called (Dr. UNEME) any persons claimed that he help them to renew their relationship and bring their ex lover back, I had to contact him because he was my last hope. I contacted him through his email and he assured me that in three days time my boyfriend is going to leave the other girl and come back to me and it was a very great surprise to see my boyfriend coming back to me after three days the spell was done. I am so very happy today that he came back to me and i achieved this with the help of Dr UNEME I equally want to use this opportunity to Tell/Advice to as many who need their ex back, if you need his help you can Contact him through
    EMAIL: unemespellben@gmail.com WHATSAPP HIM @ +2348143813120


    Thank You Once Again Dr.UNEME

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  15. EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY SPELL DR.OJOKASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL. COM OR WHATSAPP HIM :+2348144172934  
    My ex-boyfriend dumped me one week ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I reach to the Internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 2 days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Dr Ojoka. You are truly talented and gifted. Email; dr.ojokspelltemple@gmail.com or Whats App +2348144172934 is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man  
    check his website http://Drojokaspelltemple.website2.me

    ReplyDelete
  16. When I found Dr. OKISIN I was desperate in need of bringing my ex lover back. He left me for another woman. It happened so fast and I had no say in the situation at all. He just dumped me after 3 years with no explanation. I contact Dr. OKISIN through his Whats app number +2348109374702  and He told me me what i need to do before he can help me and i did what he told me to, after i provided what he wanted, he cast a love spell to help us get back together. Shortly after he did his spell, my boyfriend started texting me again and felt horrible for what he just put me through. He said that I was the most important person in his life and he knows that now. We moved in together and he was more open to me than before and then he started spending more time with me than before. Ever since Dr. OKISIN helped me, my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before. I highly recommends Dr. OKISIN to anyone in need of help. Email: dr.okisinsolutiontemple@gmail.com Call him or add him on whatsapp via: +2348109374702  ..

    ReplyDelete
  17. How I Got My Ex Husband Back..Am so excited to share my testimony of a real spell caster who brought my husband back to me. My husband and I have been married for about 6 years now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr.Wealthy can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a spell for me. 48 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr.Wealthy Powerful Love Spell that really works. If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you. He will not disappoint you. Email him at: wealthylovespell@gmail.com. or whatsapp him on: +2348105150446

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ever since my husband got me divorced for the past 2 years, i v'e not been my self. I was reviewing some post of how i could get back my husband then, i saw a testimony shared by Marina Choas from SWEDEN about a spell caster named Dr. tunde. I contacted Marina Chaos to confirm about how Dr. tunde helped her and she clarified everything to me of how he helped her and that gave me the courage to get in touch with Dr. tunde for help. Dr. tunde assured me that my days of sorrows will be over within 48hours after he has finished with his work. I followed his instructions he gave to me because i had the believe, faith, hope and trust in him. Verily i say to you today that i and my husband are back together and i can proudly say and testify to the world of what Dr. tunde did for me. Contact him today via E-mail:(babatundesolutioncentre1@gmail.com) OR call him or whatsapp him  +2348143581382 if you seek his help.   Also specialize in treating all kinds of illness, HERPES VIRUS, HEPATITIS B, CANCER, BRAIN DISEASE, INFERTILITY, DIABETES AND MORE

    ReplyDelete
  19. Everyone wanted a relationship that lasts forever, you have to respect your husband, because your relationship will last forever, just as you want me to respect my husband so much that I follow his rules. But after many years of marriage, my husband came home from work and was very sad. I tried to talk to him to leave the house and he told me that you want a divorce. I was very frustrated and confused because I love my husband so much. when we have two children together, I don't know what to do by luck. I met a friend of mine who referred me to a kind and powerful man named Dr. Okpodo, who cast a love spell that took my husband home successfully. very grateful for the help of dr.okpodosolutionhome@gmail.com or whatsapp just +234815105617 in my family, all thanks to you for saving my marriage, my husband, now he loves me more than ever

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  20. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public,This is a very joyful day of my life because of the help Dr.sikama did in my life, I was married to my husband we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 1 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email drsikama@gmail.com then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 48hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr sikama for what you have done for me.and now my husband always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.sikama is truly a real spell caster. do you need help then contact Dr. sikama now via email:drsikama@gmail.com if you are in any condition related to love issue or getting your ex back,to have a happy family.email his address: drsikama@gmail.com or call his telephone\WhAtsAp number:+2348130725051

    ReplyDelete
  21. A GREAT SPELL CASTER (DR. EMU) THAT HELP ME BRING BACK MY EX GIRLFRIEND.
    Am so happy to testify about a great spell caster that helped me when all hope was lost for me to unite with my ex-girlfriend that I love so much. I had a girlfriend that love me so much but something terrible happen to our relationship one afternoon when her friend that was always trying to get to me was trying to force me to make love to her just because she was been jealous of her friend that i was dating and on the scene my girlfriend just walk in and she thought we had something special doing together, i tried to explain things to her that her friend always do this whenever she is not with me and i always refuse her but i never told her because i did not want the both of them to be enemies to each other but she never believed me. She broke up with me and I tried times without numbers to make her believe me but she never believed me until one day i heard about the DR. EMU and I emailed him and he replied to me so kindly and helped me get back my lovely relationship that was already gone for two months.
    Email him at: Emutemple@gmail.com  
    Call or Whats-app him: +2347012841542

    ReplyDelete
  22. I want to thank Dr Emu a very powerful spell caster who help me to bring my husband back to me, few month ago i have a serious problem with my husband, to the extend that he left the house, and he started dating another woman and he stayed with the woman, i tried all i can to bring him back, but all my effort was useless until the day my friend came to my house and i told her every thing that had happened between me and my husband, then she told me of a powerful spell caster who help her when she was in the same problem I then contact Dr Emu and told him every thing and he told me not to worry my self again that my husband will come back to me after he has cast a spell on him, i thought it was a joke, after he had finish casting the spell, he told me that he had just finish casting the spell, to my greatest surprise within 48 hours, my husband really came back begging me to forgive him, if you need his help you can contact him with via email: Emutemple@gmail.com or add him up on his whatsapp +2347012841542 is willing to help any body that need his help.

    ReplyDelete
  23. My ex-husband and I had always managed to stay friendly after our divorce in February 2017. But I always wanted to get back together with him, All it took was a visit to this spell casters website last December, because my dream was to start a new year with my husband, and live happily with him.. This spell caster requested a specific love spell for me and my husband, and I accepted it. And this powerful spell caster began to work his magic. And 48 hours after this spell caster worked for me, my husband called me back for us to be together again, and he was remorseful for all his wrong deeds. My spell is working because guess what: My “husband” is back and we are making preparations on how to go to court and withdraw our divorce papers ASAP. This is nothing short of a miracle. Thank you Dr Emu for your powerful spells. Words are not enough. here is his Email: emutemple@gmail.com or call/text him on his WhatsApp +2347012841542 

    ReplyDelete
  24. I want to thank Emu Temple for the accurate readings he gave me and for also helping me bring back my lover.. If you are here and you are having any relationship problem please Contact Emu Temple on Via Email: emutemple@gmail.com OR Via WhatsApp +2347012841542 and result is 100% guarantee and He do lot more as:*Love Spells*Lost Love Spells*Divorce Spells*Stop Divorce Spell*Marriage Spells*Binding Spells*Breakup Spells*You want to be promoted in your office*Want to satisfy your lover*Death Spell*Gay/Lesbian Love Spell*Court case Spell*Politics Spell*Good-luck Spell*Bad Luck Remover Spell*Do as i say Spell*General cleansing Spell*Herbal remedy for all kind of disease    
    *Lottery Spell*Pregnancy Spell*Peins enlargement 

    ReplyDelete
  25. I have been with a cheating spouse before and trust me I know how it feels, those suspicions are not mere paranoia. If you suspect that he/She is cheating, they might actually be. I hired a Cyber Genius who helped me install monitoring bugs on my ex's phone that diverted all his activities to my phone remotely.(hackingloop6@gmail. com ) is the man for the job with a very high level of professionalism and highly reliable. I really enjoyed working with him and the few friends I told have been nothing but thankful to me for the referral. He's also reachable on WhatsApp + 1 484 540 - 0785

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