11 Questions To Ask Your Partner Before You Get Married

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My husband and I were in a long-distance relationship for almost a full year before we got married. Skype was both a blessing and a curse, offering the illusion of the one you love sitting across from you. You can see, you can hear, but you’re still too far away for a hug. It was tough, I won’t lie. There were many days when I just wanted to hold his hand or sit next to him and do nothing else at all.

Now almost two years into marriage, I can see the ways that long-distance season grew and impacted us. Specifically, it taught us how to talk to each other. There are the big things you should always discuss prior to marriage: whether you want kids and how many if so, your core values and beliefs, and the goals you have for the future. These should align or at least complement each other because you can’t have half a kid or pursue conflicting dreams. This list brings something a bit different to the table. These are questions that will help you determine each other’s character and how everyday life will occur between the two of you.


1. How important are pets to you?

Before we got married, my now-husband and I discussed whether we should get a dog. Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, to me dogs were pets that slept inside, sat on the couch with you and had costumes on for Halloween. But for my husband, who grew up in rural Missouri, animals weren’t viewed the same way. They slept outside and worked as hunting dogs or catching mice in the barns.

We decided together that having a dog would be a source of contention in our marriage because we had such different opinions about how to care for it, and since having a dog wasn’t all that important to me, we agreed that we wouldn’t. You and your potential spouse should sit down and have the same discussion because you might learn something you never considered before.

2. How were household chores decided on when you grew up?

I had a bit of a passive-aggressive phase when we first got married. Growing up, my mom cooked, and my dad cleaned the dishes afterward. So, when I cooked and my new husband didn’t immediately move to do the dishes, I became frustrated – even though I never told him I expected that of him.

A lot of expectations for marriage build on how you were raised. Chores worked a certain way when you were growing up, and you may expect them to happen in the same fashion as you step into married life. The two of you should sit down and discuss how household chores were divided when you were children. You can use those ideas as foundations for the unified method you come up with for your relationship.

3. How much money do you spend on yourself?

The things you are willing to spend money on when you’ve had a rough day or need to de-stress can say a lot about your financial health. I enjoy a great iced latte from a local coffee shop a few times a month and a bath a least once a week. These were concepts my husband, who is frugal and excellent at saving money, and I had to discuss early on in the marriage. This also serves as a starting point to discuss your financial behaviors. Is there something your future spouse spends money on that you don’t like? Are you financially compatible, or do you have a system for how big purchases should be handled? What defines a “big purchase?” These are all important discussions to have.

4. What do you want in life?

You want to know what your potential spouse is willing to sacrifice everything for. Are they on track to join the Army? Do they envision running a small business from home? Everyone has dreams and goals, and you want to ensure yours align. Compromise is something you will encounter daily in marriage, so you need to know where you are willing to draw a line. The things my husband and I want out of life are very similar, so the decisions we make have those in mind, and we often agree.

5. Where do you want to live?

“As long as you love each other, you can make anything work.” I’ve heard this said before, and I’m sure you have, too. While love is foundational, there are things you should have in common or you may come to resent each other down the line. Before we got married, my husband and I agreed that we’d like to live overseas. Traveling is a large part of our life and something we enjoy doing together, but that isn’t for everyone. Even the difference between country and city living can be too difficult for some people. Really consider the answer to this question and be honest with each other.


6. How much time do you want to spend together?

Does this one seem odd? If you’re an extrovert, maybe – but perhaps not if you are an introvert. If you need time for yourself, let your future spouse know that. This is your opportunity to set expectations and let them know whether you will need time to be by yourself, so they aren’t unexpectedly hurt a few weeks into marriage.

7. What does your relationship with your family look like?

Hopefully, at this point in your relationship, you’ve had the chance to meet each other’s families. Family is significant because they will always be there. You don’t have to be best friends with every member of your potential spouse’s family, but you do need to honestly consider what relationships with them would look like. My husband and I both have good relationships with our families, and with each other’s, so this one was quite simple for us.

8. How do you react when you’re stuck in traffic?

Nothing brings the stress out in someone like travel. My husband and I, before we got engaged, took a trip to Europe. Flight delays and unexpected twists happen all the time, no matter how well you’ve planned it out. It was on this trip that I really paid attention and saw how calm my now-husband is under stressors like that.

If you’ve taken a road trip or faced a difficult health situation together, you have likely witnessed how your potential spouse responds under stress. Understanding stressors and how to help each other through them is something you should begin now, even though it may take a while to get it down. This is also an opportunity for you to look for any red flags in the way he or she behaves when stressed. 

9. Consider the first disagreement you had. How did you handle it?

You may have had several disagreements since you first started dating, but it’s valuable to consider the first one – or at least the first one you can remember. Reflect on what happened and what you’ve done to improve how you communicate since then. This offers an opportunity for you to see how you’ve grown while establishing a chance for you to set more goals moving forward.

10. How important is your job to you? Would you be willing to leave it?

When we got married, we were both unemployed with vague ideas of what we wanted to do. Since then, we’ve been in many part-time and full-time positions. Employment changes happen, sometimes more suddenly than you may expect. Where does your current job land on the priority list? Would you be willing to relocate for it? Would your potential spouse be willing to do that for you? These may all be very hypothetical now, but they should be answered as honestly as possible.

11. Is there anything you’re hoping will change about me when we get married?

This might be the most difficult question to ask, but that’s why it is the most important. Marriage is not a cure-all to the quirks or qualities of your future spouse. It’s a magnifying glass. Those qualities will become even more pronounced. There are flaws each of you has because people cannot be perfect. By asking this of each other out of love, you establish the things you know you need to work on and help each other through.

Marriage is big and beautiful and one of the most life-altering decisions you can make. There are no perfect people, but there are people who are good for each other, and I hope these questions can help you and your potential spouse prepare for life together.

Written by Jillian Hedges

23 comments

  1. “You should get help!” sounds like the right thing to say. But when you’re depressed, a lot of your energy and thoughts are consumed.
    You may not have the energy to get help or you may talk yourself out of needing help.
    When you want your friend to “get help” take the time to do your research and possibly recommend resources.
    If you can do some of the heavy lifting, like calling a therapist and making an appointment or even driving your friend there,
    it may help them on the road to recovery. Just be mindful that some friends may push back against this so it’s important to remember the next point.
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      Hello, I am Florence Cedric.i leave at 315 St Germain Ave Toronto ON M5M 1W4(Toronto ,Ontario) After i have been in a relationship with my husband for years, he broke up with me. I did everything possible to get back to him but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because i loved him. so i explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that helped her cast a spell that got her pregnant and brought her husband back.I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster on whatsapp and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay.so He cast the spell for me and surprisingly after 48hours, my husband called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted me to return to him. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again.so anyone who need help on any kind of problems can also contact this real and very genuine spell caster on Whatsapp/call +1(321)754-0649 or mail him via MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM and MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM or you can read more about this great spell caster on his website http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME contact this great man today and get your problems solved 100%

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      ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com 

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      ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com 

      https://ancientspirit1.blogspot.com

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  9. Lizzy Desler的证词。如何让您的前男友迅速回国!

    七个月前,我和丈夫之间的婚姻发生了一个非常大的问题,使我伤心欲绝。太可怕了,以至于他将此案告上了法庭。他说他再也不想和我在一起了,他不再爱我了。所以他收拾行装,使我和我的孩子们痛苦不堪。经过多次乞讨,我竭尽全力让他回来,但无济于事。他确认这是他的决定,他再也不想见我了。因此,有一天晚上,当我下班回来时,我遇到了一个老朋友,问我丈夫。所以我向他解释了所有事情,所以他告诉我,唯一可以让我丈夫回来的方法是拜访一个施法者,因为它确实对他也有帮助。所以我从不相信咒语,但是除了听从他的忠告外,我别无选择。然后他给了我他拜访过的施法者的电子邮件地址。 Pristbacasim2000@gmail.com。因此,第二天早上,我发了一封邮件到他给我的地址,施法者向我保证,第二天我会把我丈夫带回来。多么惊人的声明!我从来不相信,所以他和我交谈,并告诉我我需要做的一切。然后第二天早上,令人惊讶的是,我丈夫过去7个月没有打电话给我,打了个电话告诉我他要回来了。如此惊人!!那天他就是这样回来的,他充满了爱与喜悦,他为自己的错误以及为我和我的孩子们带来的痛苦表示歉意。从那天起,在咒语施法者的帮助下,我们的关系现在比以前更加牢固。因此,如果您有任何问题,我会建议您与Pristbacasim联系,我给您100%保证他会为您提供帮助。向他发送电子邮件:Pristbacasim2000@gmail.com

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  10. Testimony By Lizzy Desler. How to get your ex back fast!

    I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore. So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too. So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the spell caster whom he visited. Pristbacasim2000@gmail.com. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Pristbacasim, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Pristbacasim2000@gmail.com



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  11. Hello my name is Kallya from USA i want to tell the world about the great and mighty spell caster called Priest Ade my husband was cheating on me and no longer committed to me and our kids when i asked him what the problem was he told me he has fell out of love for me and wanted a divorce i was so heart broken i cried all day and night but he left home i was looking for something online when i saw an article how the great and powerful Priest Ade have helped so many in similar situation like mine he email address was there so i sent him an email telling him about my problem he told me he shall return back to me within 24hrs i did everything he asked me to do the nest day to my greatest surprise my husband came back home and was crying and begging for me to forgive and accept him back he can also help you contact
    ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com

    https://ancientspiritspellcast12.wordpress.com

    Blog: https://priestade.blogspot.com

    Website http://ancientspiritspellcast.website2.me

    WhatsApp +2347059715465

    ReplyDelete
  12. Your questions are really good.
    but I'll ask question 12 with my girlfriend Khorn Youra .
    Would you like to sew some fashion with your sewing machine at home?
    Thanks for the article, this is my opinion

    ReplyDelete
  13. URGENT AND EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL CASTER TO HELP YOU GET BACK YOUR EX LOVER VERY FAST WHATSAPP +2348124644470

    My Name is Isabella Mia    from Ireland , I want to say thank you to PRIEST WISDOM for the good thing he has done for me,Though am not sure if this is the best forum to show my joy and happiness for what he has done for me but i cant hide happiness and my Joy so i have to share it with people, my marriage got crashed about two years ago and i tried all i could within my power but to no avail. i saw post and testimonial about the good things PRIEST WISDOM has been doing so i decided to give it a try. though he is always a busy man but when he responded back to my email, he gave me 48hours for my marriage to be restored really just like he said my marriage was restored since then I am happy and i am living happily i am so grateful, PRIEST WISDOM you can always email him here: Supernaturalspell1@gmail.com or WHATSAPP / cell phone +2348124644470  or view his blog     https://supernaturalspell21.blogspot.com/  

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  14. I am very happy today with my family. My name is rose sarah living in USA, My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.life a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email drlifetemple@gmail.com… Now i will advice any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without steress.. He always hello, now i call him my father.contact him now he is always online email (drlifetemple@gmail.com) or contact him on his whatsapp mobile line +2347010538590

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  15. I am very happy today with my family. My name is rose sarah living in USA, My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.life a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email drlifetemple@gmail.com… Now i will advice any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without steress.. He always hello, now i call him my father.contact him now he is always online email (drlifetemple@gmail.com) or contact him on his whatsapp mobile line +2347010538590

    ReplyDelete
  16. URGENT AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY WINNING DR OJOKA
    am from canada, would want to tell you all that i was able to put an end to my divorce issue and restore my marriage again, because i never wanted it to happen. i don’t know what came over my husband that he was filling for divorce, i etried to talk him out of it when he told me and he didn’t listen to me, i had no other option than to seek for the help of a spell caster and now am glad i did. Because if not for the help of spell, i don’t know what would have become of me by now because i loved my husband so much that i couldn’t stand loosing him. The spell worked like magic with the way and manner my husband change and started showing love instead of the divorce he was planning. i just too happy that everything is in place for me now. I would gladly recommend the use of spell to any one going through marriage problems and want to put an end to it. [DROJOKASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL .COM OR WHATS APP HIM +2348144172934 was were i got the help to restore my marriage]

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