Why Following Your Ex On Social Media Is Terrible For You

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Social Media is a wonderful thing for so many reasons; you can stay connected with friends no matter where they live, you can follow the latest trends, keep track of what Ryan Reynolds is doing at all times and share those fun holiday snaps. What it is not good for, however, is when you are going through a breakup. Breaks up are hard on all of us, especially when your significant other is part of your friendship group. And although we have to get there in our own time, we ultimately learn the only way to move on is to go cold turkey and stop all communication with them.

This is now an impossible feat where social media is concerned, that connection we praised earlier is now the most damaging thing to us. Here are 12 reasons why you need to hit that unfollow button and say hello to your fresh start.

1. Stalking your ex never makes you feel better

Along with watching Bridget Jones and The Holiday, stalking your ex online is only going to make you feel worse about your break up. Seeing what they are up to, who has liked and commented on their posts, stalking those people and making a Sherlock Holmes style connection back to your ex is going to take you down a dark spiral you don’t need to go down.

2. Seeing what they've commented on and liked can ruin a perfectly nice day

Picture this; you are finally starting to feel like yourself again, the sun is shining and you are on your way to meet your friends and have some beers. You are innocently scrolling through Insta and bam there they are. Having made such progress healing you have now taken 4 steps back and all you want to do is crawl back into bed and hide under the covers.

3. They could be doing things specifically for attention/to annoy you

Break-ups show the worst side of people. In the wake of their pain, they may use social media against you and post things to purposefully upset you or annoy you. This aside from being hurtful is also not worth your time or energy worrying about. Be the bigger person and step back from it.

4. Stop caring what they're doing. Just stop.

This is a big one. In order to really move on and the best version of yourself, you need to stop caring about what they are up to. This is a long process but you will get there.

5. Knowing what they're up to won't change anything 

Now you have acquired this information now what? Are you going to send them an angry text message? Post your own dramatic post with some Taylor Swift song lyrics? What hurts the most about heartbreak is accepting the position you are in and knowing it won’t change. Acquiring this knowledge won’t either, it will only make you feel worse and you don’t need to feel any worse than you already do.

See also: 11 tips to heal yourself after a pretty bad breakup

6. You will definitely see something you don't want to 

There is, of course, the possibility you will see something, very real, that is even worse than what you were imagining. Ignorance is not bliss, but in this case, when you are still fragile, it is a blessing. You don’t need to see them moving on. 

7. You can't move on if their face pops up every day

The easiest to way to move on from anybody is to get some space and pretend they don’t exist for a little while. That is impossible to do if their face is appearing numerous times a day on your timeline. You shouldn’t have to stop connecting with your friends, just because you want to get away from them.

8. Unfollowing isn't blocking

Unfollowing may seem like a big or negative step. Trust me it isn’t. You are not blocking them and making a grand gesture of hate, you are simply taking some time to get yourself back on track and when you are ready, should you want to, you can refollow. But in my experience, exes should stay where they are, in the past. 

9. Your imagination can and will get the better of you 

It is so unhealthy to keep tabs on them post break-up. You will take a like or a comment featuring emoji and create a relationship or affair that doesn’t exist. Winding yourself up on things that aren’t real is very damaging to your healing process.

10. People deal with breakups differently

We are all unique and deal with pain and tragedy in different ways. Their way of dealing with the pain might be going to loads of parties and making poor decisions. You might interpret this as them not caring, which is chances are, is not the case. But if you see them having fun on their social media it will be easy for you to make that assumption. 

11. Hating them isn't going to make you feel better

It is very easy to go on a hate rampage and scroll through their profile and scour at everything they are doing. Don’t be that person. You are on a journey to being the best possible you and don’t need to be surrounded by negative energy. 

12. You need to focus on getting back to the beautiful person you are

This time is for you. You need to get back to being the person you were before the relationship and go on a journey of personal discovery. The best gift you can give yourself in this time is step away from them and all they are doing and do you.

Written by: Tink Blauth-Muszkowski

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