Can You Really Be Friends With Your Ex? 8 Rules To Follow

How to be friends with your ex. rules for being friends with your ex, can you really be friends with you ex, staying friends with your ex, can you be friends with an ex

Breakups happen. You lose the person you love, you either feel brilliant for the first few weeks or you wallow in despair and misery. Either way, at some point down the line, you're going to miss your ex, and more than likely, they miss you too. You'll crave the comfort of their company and miss seeing their name light up your phone screen. You wait to see if they'll text and you're holding yourself back from contacting them.

You might start to think, what if I could still have them in my life, even as a friend? Could I actually be friends with my ex? If you feel enough time has passed from the breakup and you could actually maintain a friendship of some sort with your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, then there is a possibility that being friends with them could work.

However, you have to be very sure that you don't fall back into having feelings for them and hoping that they do too. You need to be very sure on the boundaries of the friendship and so, here are 8 rules on how to be friends with your ex.

1. Set Clear Boundaries

Let your ex know straight away that if you're going to keep a friendship, that's all it's going to be. You were both obviously attracted to each other to start with and chances are, the attraction is still there. You or your ex might still want more than friendship so state very clearly that you're only willing to be friends if they don't try anything else. If your ex is being flirty over text just tell them nicely, but firmly, that you think the flirting should stop if you have any chance of maintaining a friendship.

2. Ask Yourself If This Is What You Really Want

Do you really want to be 'friends' with your ex or is this your way of possibly getting back together with them? Remember that the relationship broke up for a reason and it will only end up breaking up again if you get back together after being friends, so don't lie to yourself and say that you want to be friends if really you're just trying to get them back. Make sure you're being friends with your ex for the right reasons.

3. Be Careful They're Not Leading You On

If your ex broke up with you and a month later they're back saying they miss you and want to hang out and 'be friends,' you need to be very careful they're not just trying to either A) sleep with you or B) lead you to think they want a relationship again, because they probably just want to sleep with you. Even if it was them that broke up with you, they're going to get lonely and probably miss the comfort of your relationship, and instead of trying to find someone new and start dating someone else, you're the easier option for them. So be very clear on their intentions and it's fine to be skeptical as to why they want to be friends.

4. Don't Sleep With Your Ex

Don't do it, ever. You'll hate yourself in the morning, you'll feel empty and regretful and it'll only end in more heartbreak. If you end up meeting up with your ex and one thing leads to another, have the strength to walk away and stand strong in your feelings of just wanting to be friends. You might think, 'oh this is great, my ex wants me back and we can be happy again,' no. They want you back for the night because it's the easiest option. Don't fall for it and you're so much better than just being someone to sleep with. Move on and don't let your ex string you along and play with your emotions.

5. Don't Keep Texting Them

Don't start texting your ex every day again and if they're texting you a lot, don't be too eager to reply. If you fall back into the habits of your old relationship, you're opening the door to them coming back into your life and it's letting them have the benefits of a relationship without the commitment of the actual relationship. It's fine to keep in touch with your ex partner and check in on how they're doing but being too friendly and texting all the time will give them hope that you're interested in more than just friends.

6. Don't Feel Sorry For Your Ex

You might agree to meet up with your ex if you're feeling sorry for them because they seem lonely or upset after the breakup, but that's just the good in you seeing the best in them. Realise that they don't need your pity and they'll be just fine whether you 'be friends' with them or not. They'll move on to someone new eventually but they just miss you at the moment. Don't fall back into old habits just because you want them to be happy and don't like seeing them sad.

7. Meet Them In A Public Place

If you do meet up with your ex, make sure it's to do something fun in public like the cinema, a gig or and activity centre. Don't agree to meet them at their house or let them come round to yours, because it could lead to a lot more than being friends and if they suggest to meet you somewhere private like their house, then their intentions are pretty clear. Keep socializing with your ex to a limited time and meet somewhere where you can leave and go home afterwards. Drive to meet them to avoid having a drink, which can lead to all sorts. (No alcohol is best, trust me.)

8. Don't Give Loyalty To Them

You might feel guilty about talking to new people or going on dating apps if you're still in touch with your ex but you can't put your life on hold for someone who doesn't want to make you a priority in theirs. Even if you're talking to your ex, still date other people or show interest in others, you don't have any loyalty to this person who broke up with you and you shouldn't hold off in case something happens with your ex again, because it won't, and if it does, it won't last. Put yourself first and start living your own life. Move on and focus on yourself and your own future. The right person is out there for you, and it's not your ex.

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How to be friends with your ex. rules for being friends with your ex, can you really be friends with you ex, staying friends with your ex, can you be friends with an ex


  1. Can you be friends with an ex when you're in a solid relationship? Is it a dangerous path to follow? Is it possible to really go from being attracted to someone to just being friends or is that too black and white? Thanks for sharing your tips.

    Shareen HD

  2. I love this post c:
    Especially the last tip

    Mari xx