17.6.18

How To End It After A Few Dates

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You've been on a few dates with someone, you've enjoyed getting to know them but you know that there's a spark missing and you can't see yourself dating this person in the long term. 

Stopping seeing someone after a couple of dates is a tricky situation because you don't want to hurt the person but you know that it's in your best interest to finish the relationship now and move on.

If you have a gut feeling that the person you're dating isn't 'the one' then it's only fair to both of you if you call it quits and tell them that it's better for you not to see each other. You might find yourself wanting to make yourself go on a few more dates just to see if it gets better or if you develop a connection, but after three or four dates you should have a pretty good idea of how well you get on together and if you can see this person being in your life for a long time.

It's normal to feel guilty about wanting to end it after a few dates, but don't beat yourself up or feel too bad about ending it, because if you're not the right people for each other then ending it is the right thing to do. It's much better to end it now in the early stages before one of you develops feelings, because you or the person you're dating will end up getting very hurt if you don't.

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3 Ways To End It After A Few Dates

1. Send Them A Meaningful Text

If you only went on a few dates, then sending a thoughtful text to explain your feelings will be enough to let the person know that you don't want to continue dating them. Let them know that you really enjoyed spending time with them but you feel like you're just friends and can't see it progressing into a relationship. Be honest with the person and be open about your reasons for wanting to end it. You don't have to force yourself into a relationship with anyone an if it's not working out then don't worry! Just be polite and respectful and end it on good terms. If you had different values or there was no spark, just let them know that. Don't give them false hope by saying things like, 'maybe we'll see each other again.' It's better to be brutally honest than to lead them on to thinking that they may have a chance with you again.

2. Have A Face To Face Conversation 

If you've been dating for more than a few weeks then a face to face conversation or 'breakup' may be more suitable. If you think the person you're dating has developed feelings for you and there's a connection there, then it's only fair if you explain to them in person that it's not working out. Don't take the easy way out by sending a text if you've been seeing each other for quite a while. Although it's hard for both people, arrange to meet the other person and have a chat to explain exactly how you're feeling and your reasons for not wanting to see them anymore. Help them to understand why you want to end it and give them the respect of a proper explanation, they have given a lot of their time to you after all.

3. Stay Friends If You Think It Will Help

Usually people who break up and agree to stay friends don't work out, but if after a few dates you realise that you're only just friends, then maybe it's good to stay friends! Although it hasn't worked out for you both as a couple, maybe you've found a great friend in each other and there's no reason why you can't continue the relationship on a friendship level. Just make sure there's no feelings more than friendship on both sides, to avoid getting hurt.

However it ends, let them down easily and be thankful for the chance to meet someone new and gain experience in the dating world. Everyone we meet has an impact on our lives and at least you've been able to discover someone new who will lead you to discovering who is really meant for you. Whatever you do, don't ghost someone and don't cut them out of your life with no explanation. Everyone deserves to be loved and respected and remember to show kindness always.


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