5 Reasons You Need To Stop Comparing Yourself To His Ex

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So you're in a new relationship, everything is going well and you want to know a little more about your boyfriends past. Maybe he brings up that he was in a past relationship or you ask him if he's dated someone before. 

Before you know it, you see all your boyfriend's pictures popping up on Facebook of him with his ex as a happy couple, and doubt starts to creep in.

You start wanting to know more about her, what she was like, how and why the relationship ended and before you know it you find yourself comparing yourself to her and how your relationship is different now to when they were together. It's natural for anyone in this situation to compare themselves to an ex-partner but it's very unhealthy for your relationship and yourself if you keep comparing yourself to your boyfriends ex. These are the reasons why you need to stop comparing yourself to your boyfriends ex.

1. You're Making Yourself Insecure. Ok so maybe his ex-girlfriend is tall, skinny, pretty with long hair. That shouldn't matter because he's with you now, right? No. By comparing yourself to her you'll start to think she's better than you or she has a nicer figure or she is way more beautiful than you and you'll start to wonder why your boyfriend is even with you instead of her. You have to realise that your partner has chosen you and you are the person he wants to be with, not her. It's easy to compare yourself to other people but all it does is damage your own self-esteem and make you insecure about things about yourself. Stop looking at their Facebook, don't think about them and remember that their ex is out of the picture now.

2. You're Bringing Doubt Into The Relationship. If you compare yourself to his ex and feel insecure in doing so, you'll start to think you're boyfriend is crazy for being with you and not them. You might begin to doubt that he's definitely over her or maybe you think that he still has feelings for her, because you feel like you're not as good as her in some way. By comparing yourself to an ex, you're only filling your head with doubt and making things hard in the relationship for yourself. 

3. Comparing Yourself To Other People In General Is a Bad Idea. One of the worst traits to have is self-comparison. It's so easily done but comparing yourself to others only leads to feeling worse about yourself and feeling like you aren't enough or you haven't accomplished enough. You should never compare yourself to others because it distracts you from working on yourself and can demotivate you if you think someone is more successful or superior to you in some way. This is is them same in relationships and it's very unhealthy to compare yourself to an ex-grifleind who was once in your boyfriend's life.

4. You're Making Yourself Paranoid. By comparing yourself to his ex, you're only going to make yourself paranoid that you're not as good as her in some way. You'll start to wonder if she was funnier than you, if he was happier with her, maybe he still misses her or wonder if they had a better connection. Remind yourself that their relationship didn't work out and they broke up for a reason. He's chosen you now and that's what you should focus on.

5. It Will Negatively Affect Your Relationship. If you keep stalking their ex on facebook and can't get the thought of them out of your head, you'll start to behave negatively around your boyfriend in your relationship and trust issues may start to develop. You'll become more concerned about his past relationship than your own. Don't torture yourself by comparing yourself to his past. You'll end up becoming distant in your relationship which may affect your own feelings towards your boyfriend. Focus on yourself and how you feel in your relationship. Enjoy your time with your boyfriend and remember that you're very important to each other and you've chosen to be with each other over everyone else and an ex shouldn't get in the way of that.


  1. In my experience, I saw a lot of the time a guy's brain will turn to mush when he starts dating a girl he really likes. Make no mistake, acting the right way around your girlfriend is crucial to keeping her and maintaining the relationship. How to get your ex back after a breakup

  2. I'm having a problem believing what my boyfriend says . I'm have a low self esteem issue. I get jealous easily and I always want to be around my boyfriend.im trying to be a better person by changing my negative thinking towards my boyfriend. What can I do